Counselling, Psychotherapy and Psychology Blog

Stress: awareness and how to tackle it

During the last year or so, most of us have been left feeling worried or agitated as a result of the pandemic. We have been forced to change our routines, work remotely, and communicate with those closest to us on a screen. We may have found ourselves isolated from our usual support network or under pressure to do large quantities of additional work in order to demonstrate that we are productive. This could have exacerbated stress in certain individuals. 

Meet the therapist series: John Dinwoodie

John has been in practice since 1993, is a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, accredited with NLPtCA – the Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy and Counselling Association offering both in-Person and online therapy.

He works with most psychological issues faced by individuals and couples, particularly early family trauma, anxiety and depression. He is experienced at working with underlying family dynamics and patterns of emotional behaviour.

Men and Therapy

Why aren't men more open about their mental health? 

Research shows that men are less likely to consult with doctors and other health professionals including mental health practitioners, counsellors and psychotherapists than women.

The Different Forms of Anxiety

It is natural to experience anxiety and it can be extremely distressing.

Meet the therapist series: Monika Smolar

Monika is a counsellor and psychotherapist accredited with both the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) with over twenty years experience working as a psychotherapist and counsellor with  adolescents, students, younger and older adults and couples. Monika offers both in-Person and online therapy.

Meet the therapist series: Connie Allfrey

Connie is a BACP accredited Integrative Psychotherapist, offering both in person and online counselling and psychotherapy for individuals and couples.  She began seeing clients in 2008 and started her own practice in 2015.

COVID-19 and Therapy Sessions - In Person and Online

Therapy Availability

Toxic Productivity Blog

In this article we look at the issue of Toxic productivity.

Meet the therapists series: Nicholas Rose

We have decided to publish fortnightly articles and posts introducing our Therapists at Nicholas Rose & Associates. In this week's blog post we ask Nicholas Rose a series of questions about himself and his field of work.

Counselling & therapy articles and new information

Here are our published articles in various media since September 2020.

Marketing Assistant Vacancies - Kickstart Scheme

We are looking for two Marketing Assistants, the vacancies are available to people eligible to apply to vacancies through the Kickstart Scheme.

Applicants need to be referred by their Work Coach at the Jobcentre in order to qualify.

We won Hounslow Chamber of Commerce Micro Business Award for 2019/20

We are delighted to have been awarded "Micro Business of 2019/2020" by The Hounslow Chamber of Commerce in their annual business awards.

In giving the award they said [the award] "should go to this company who provide the right therapy, which local people need during lockdown, and cope with the challenges caused by working from home".

Bullying and what to do about it? (Republished from December 2016)

This article was originally published on our blog in 2016 and also appeared in the Chiswick Herald.

Bullying and what to do about it!

Research shows that one in every two people are affected by bullying. It is something that people still find very hard to discuss. Research, information, education in schools, employer advice, safety online, children, adults and the elderly are all areas and people where there is some progress but as our awareness of bullying develops then I think confusion can occur. 

Increasingly I think the word can be used incorrectly and it is really important to be clear about whether your or another persons behaviour is bullying. If used incorrectly misunderstandings can be magnified and conflicts made worse, sometimes partners might accuse each other of bullying as it can justify ending a relationship. However it is also essential not to shy away from the word when bullying might be happening.

No good can come from a person being trapped in bullying and to stop a bully is to also give them a chance to change their behaviour.

So the first step is to be able to identify bullying. This sounds obvious but in my work I have found that many people have not realised they are being bullied, it is also common for people not to realise that they are bullying others. Meanwhile I also hear people accuse others of bullying behaviour when on closer examination there is actually something else happening.

Bullying can take many forms but in essence it is deliberately setting out to hurt another person either emotionally or physically. It is often a pattern of repeated behaviour and one that leads to the bullied person feeling differently about themselves and the world. Threatening behaviour, insults, unfair treatment, excluding are all possible manifestations. It is also something that often occurs to certain people because of factors such as how they appear, a disability, sexuality, gender, race or religion. There is always a purpose to bullying - it will be to make the other person feel bad and / or to get them to behave differently or do something that the bully wants.

BullyingUK is a charity that provides information and advice through their website www.bullying.co.uk and it can give you information whether you are experiencing bullying at home, work, school, online or any other context. It is also very good in terms of helping where you might be bullied for a specific reason for example your sexuality. But for the rest of this article I want to help you think about your relationships and whether there are any where bullying might be a concern.

First of all think about your family, friends, colleagues are there any where you can find yourself feeling uncomfortable? 

Secondly, identify what is it about your interactions that feel uncomfortable? Is it things that are said to you, is it things you find yourself saying to them? Do you feel irritated, frustrated, nervous or scared? Do you find yourself acting differently around them to how you normally behave? Do you observe that they treat you differently to other people? Has anyone who knows you and spent time with you said anything to you about what they see happening? Are your requests / wishes ignored? Do you feel forced into doing what the other person wants? Does the person approach you even when you have shown no interest in contact with them? Do you think there is an obvious or perceived power imbalance? Do you think the person might find your interactions with them hurtfull or upsetting?

Third, what have you tried to change or stop what is happening? What haven’t you tried and why? Have you tried telling the person that you find their behaviour towards you hurtful? If so did they ignore what you said and continue or increase the hurtful behaviour? Or are you just too frightened to even try? If this is the case then talk this over with someone as the situation needs to change. If you are wondering whether you might have been bullying then can you remember how the other person responded in response to your actions or words. Did they appear calm and relaxed or nervous and scared, what did you then do? Did you continue with your words and actions? Did you ask them if they were ok? Did they do what you wanted even though they had said it was not what they wanted? If you now think that maybe you might have treated them badly you might consider asking them or find someone who you can talk this through with.

Im my experience as a psychotherapist people can feel ashamed if they have been bullied or guilty and afraid if they have been the one bullying, so speaking to someone you don’t know can often be really helpful. It is important to be able to feel able to tell the whole story if you find yourself editing out things you of the other person did then this suggests you are not talking this through with the right person.

Counselling & psychotherapy Articles and new information

Over the last few months we have been busy writing and submitting articles through various channels. Our Twitter and Facebook pages contain links to them all however this page contains a summary.

What are families finding helpful during the COVID-19 pandemic?

In our clinical team meetings over the last few months the subject of families has kept coming forward as something our clients have been wanting to talk about. Some families have been really struggling whilst for others it has been a time of opportunity for improving their relationships. In response Family Therapist Marybeth Mendenhall, Psychotherapist and Counsellor Monika Smolar,  Psychotherapeutic Child and Parent Counsellor Kati Mencer and Nicholas Rose met specifically to talk this through as a way of understanding what was important in improving family relationships right now. In this article we outline the main points from our discussion or if you prefer you can watch our YouTube channel here.

Feeling Lonely? This week is Loneliness Awareness Week 2020

Today is the first day of Loneliness Awareness Week 2020. Even before the pandemic and lockdown research showed that over 9 million people in the UK, so one in five people, say they experience loneliness however almost two-thirds of those who struggle with loneliness find it difficult to talk about.

Re-entry anxiety as the lockdown eases?

Noticed feelings of uneasiness as you think about meeting up with others as the lockdown eases?

With the lockdown easing some people are talking about feelings a bit like those you might get going to a school reunion or in those moments before arriving at a fancy dress party. On one level you know it is just another social situation and yet someone has added some rules or new expectations, you may be excited and looking forward to meeting up with people both old and new and yet you notice a feeling of uneasiness, discomfort or anxiety. 

Many more families in therapy during the pandemic and lockdown

“Now is proving to be a really important time for families to revisit their relationships, resolve old conflicts, find new ways of communicating and build the relationships they’ve always wanted”. Says Psychotherapist Nicholas Rose.

A perfect storm for psychological struggles this week?

Bad news, witnessing conflict in Government and sensing uncertainty are having a very bad impact on some peoples wellbeing at the moment. Are you struggling?

What is it like to have Online Counselling and Psychotherapy?

This article looks at the difference between online and in-person / face to face counselling and gives a first hand experience of changing from face to face to online psychotherapy.

Why it is too soon to talk about coronaphobia #coronaphobia

Having seen articles and then written myself about #coronanxiety I wasn’t surprised to start seeing articles about #coronaphobia. Personally I think it is too early for the term Coronaphobia to be useful and here’s why.

What is coronanxiety? #coronanxiety

As people consider the impacts of COVID-19, the coronavirus and the lockdown on our psychological wellbeing a new term is trending #coronanxiety. But what is it?

Zoom Private Online Counselling and Therapy

Our experienced team of UK based counsellors and psychotherapists are able to offer private online counselling and psychotherapy using zoom, skype and facetime to children, adolescents, young people, adults, couples and families.

Finding Online Counselling & Psychotherapy from UK Counsellors and Psychotherapists

The pandemic and lockdown restrictions in the UK have meant that counselling and psychotherapy has had to move completely online for the time being - however online counselling and psychotherapy is nothing new for the UK. But how do you find an online counsellor and psychotherapist?