Showing posts tagged with: Gay Counselling
Our article - "Reduce conflict and stress in relationships" published in the Chiswick Herald on the 9th November. Please read below:
- Pause - It can be tempting to allow your thinking to take over but this is also unlikely to be helpful as your thoughts will be based upon your negative feelings. Also when you have allowed your thinking to gain momentum you may find it hard to avoid taking action that has negative consequences.
- Take a breath and then ask yourself “what is factual here?”, with this example it can be helpful that having spotted there is little factual content and noting your negative reaction, that the important message from this interaction is that your friend is upset but not able to communicate this to you in a helpful way?
- Now develop a response with the following parts: first - state the facts, two - explain what thoughts it brings up for you. For example:
Posted by: Nicholas Rose on November 14th, 2018 @ 2:58 PM
Tagged with: anxiety chiswick herald counselling counselling chiswick couples counselling depression existential analysis extistential therapy Gay Counselling london psychotherapist psychologist psychology psychotherapy relationship therapy stress west london counselling west london psychotherapist
Our latest article on reducing anxiety was published in the Chiswick Herald on page 31.
View article Or read it below:
Posted by: Nicholas Rose on October 15th, 2018 @ 12:58 AM
Tagged with: anxiety chiswick herald counselling counselling chiswick couples counselling depression existential analysis extistential therapy Gay Counselling london psychotherapist mindfulness psychology psychotherapy west london counselling west london psychotherapist
This month an article appeared in the Chiswick Magazine after Nicholas was interviewed by their Editor Katie Saunders. Please click here to read.
Posted by: Nicholas Rose on June 13th, 2018 @ 2:50 PM
Tagged with: anger management anxiety brief therapy cbt chiswick herald cognitive behaviour therapy counselling counselling psychotherapy websites couples counselling depression existential analysis extistential therapy family therapy Gay Counselling london psychotherapist marriage guidance mindfulness psychology psychotherapy relationship therapy stress weekend counselling west london counselling west london psychotherapist
Our latest article has been published in the Chiswick Herald click here or read below:
Make sure depression does not destroy your relationship
In my work with couples it often comes to light, that at some point in the past, one of the couple has struggled with depression. Through therapy couples often come to realise that the way they responded at the time harmed their relationship. In this article I explain what often happens and what to do.
Depression often occurs after something has happened in a person's life that has been difficult to cope with. The struggle can be very tiring, resulting in low confidence and a circle of behaviour that only serves to lead to more unhappiness.
It can have a terrible impact on how someone experiences their life on a day to day basis, symptoms often include a felt sense of low desire to undertake daily activities including work, socialising, exercise etc. It can have a debilitating effect and often be a very confusing experience for the sufferer and their friends and relatives. It can also have a significant impact upon partners and can often lead to the breakdown of relationships.
So what goes wrong? In our relationships we generally expect that partners support each other during difficult times and illness. So far so good! However the difficulty tends to come from failing to support partners in a way that recognises the needs of a healthy relationship.
All too often, the person struggling will most likely be experienced by their partner as withdrawing and this creates a dilemma. On the one hand the partner will be upset to see the person they care about struggling and want to help them, whilst at the same time they are also likely to be struggling themselves with negative feelings about how the relationship with their partner has changed.
To be upset ourselves when our partners are struggling can be difficult as judging thoughts can come to mind like indulgent, selfish, uncaring. We prefer to think that when things go wrong for someone we care about we will drop everything and put the other person first and that they will do the same for us. Whilst this expresses just how important our partners are for us it introduces a mindset that leads to thinking about “them and me” and not about “us”. So at a time when we both most need our relationship to be working well we tend to put it on hold, relegate it, not give it priority.
Quite simply if you are affected by the fact your partner is struggling then you need to look at it as information telling you that your relationship is struggling. If someone is unhappy in a relationship then it is an unhappy relationship and no matter how tempting it is to try and hide this fact from a partner who is struggling, ultimately that partner will not thank you for this further down the line.
So what is it that happens that causes the relationship harm? Usually the partner not struggling puts their needs to one side, they might miss their “old partner”, but they give them space, or their sex life but don’t want to impose, or being able to talk about their own problems. Unfortunately the denial of needs tends to have a habit of impacting upon us in ways we do not expect.
Of course the struggling partner will be finding it hard to carry on as though nothing is happening but if that partner also loses the benefit to their sense of self that comes from being able to make their partner happy, then thats just another thing to add to their probably ever increasing list of failures. They might not even realise this so it is up to the supporting partner to remind them!
Unfortunately patterns get put in place whereby the supporting partner also withdraws and changes their behaviour with the result the way the relationship works is changed to such an extent that a time comes when neither recognise it any more. The relationship can be experienced as lifeless, dead, lonely.
Couples can often avoid this for years, particularly if they have children, busy jobs, other interests etc but ultimately they become to realise that their relationship is no longer there for them.
Main points -
- Think about your relationship - it is not helpful to think just about your partner and yourself separately.
- Take a step back and think together about what you can do so that you can both feel as though you remain committed to each other
- Even if your relationship is in a good place at the moment talk about this now - if trouble comes along you will have an agreed strategy in place and this will make it much easier to have the conversations that will help.
- If you or your partner is depressed share this article with them and think about seeking couples / relationship / marriage counselling.
Posted by: Nicholas Rose on September 28th, 2017 @ 2:22 PM
Tagged with: anxiety chiswick herald counselling couples counselling depression family therapy Gay Counselling london psychotherapist marriage guidance psychotherapy relationship therapy weekend counselling west london counselling west london psychotherapist
Our latest article has been published in the Chiswick Herald, click here to visit the site or read below.
Posted by: Nicholas Rose on August 7th, 2017 @ 09:30 AM
Tagged with: anxiety brief therapy chiswick herald cognitive behaviour therapy counselling couples counselling depression existential analysis extistential therapy family therapy Gay Counselling london psychotherapist marriage guidance mindfulness psychologist psychology psychotherapy relationship therapy west london counselling west london psychotherapist
Our latest article has been published in the Chiswick herald can be found here. Or please read below:
Posted by: Nicholas Rose on May 24th, 2017 @ 9:27 PM
Tagged with: anxiety cbt chiswick herald cognitive behaviour therapy counselling couples counselling depression existential analysis extistential therapy family therapy Gay Counselling london psychotherapist mindfulness psychology psychotherapy relationship therapy weekend counselling west london counselling west london psychotherapist